When Breastfeeding is Hard

When Breastfeeding is Hard

I didn’t know much about breastfeeding when I was growing up. When I played with baby dolls, I played with plastic pink bottles. I didn’t know anyone who breastfed, so, to me, it was just this vague, weird thing that hippy women did. Why breastfeed when bottle feeding seemed so much more convenient?

When I was in college, I took a developmental psychology class. I read that breast milk was nutritionally superior to formula. I read that a woman’s body was scientifically wired to support her baby’s needs. I read about this awesome hormone called oxytocin that is released during breastfeeding. But I also thought: “Meh. Not for me.” And that was okay. Continue reading “When Breastfeeding is Hard”

Searching for Purpose

Searching for Purpose

It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to write. Sometimes I go through phases when I barely write at all, which is hard when so much of my identity is in being a writer. I envy the kinds of writers who go up to their lovely writing lofts every day and write for hours and hours. I’m just not that kind of writer, I guess. I thrive on creative bursts, so when creativity is lacking, I have a hard time forcing it. I’m not very disciplined. But today I’m finally sitting down to get words on the page.

So what have I been up to?

I’m not working right now. For a while, this was a struggle for me. I felt a sense of purposeless, of failure. Jobs I applied for didn’t work out, which was impactful on my self-esteem. I struggled with questions like: Am I not good enough? Why doesn’t anyone want me? What am I even good at? And then I got pregnant. Since I’m planning to stay home with the baby, I didn’t want to start a job that I’d be leaving in a few months. So I decided to stop the job search and to just wait for the baby. But here’s the thing: waiting turned out to be very hard. I felt the purposelessness very keenly, very acutely. I began to wonder: What is my purpose? How do I bring meaning into my life? Continue reading “Searching for Purpose”

Thankful

Thankful

I’ve been wanting to blog for a while now, but every time I’ve thought about sitting down to write, something kinda strange kept me from my computer. I wanted to write, but I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to come out once I did.

Those of you who’ve followed me know that I tend to write about an issue, concern, or pressing thought when I have one. Lately, though, I just haven’t had any. And you know what? That’s been pretty great. It’s nice not to have a concern constantly bearing down on me.  Continue reading “Thankful”

Saying Goodbye to Baby Bump Insecurity

Saying Goodbye to Baby Bump Insecurity

“Anna, you have a belly!” My neighbor said jubilantly, pointing at my midsection. I’d just gotten out of my car and was going up the stairs to my door. My neighbor, Pat, is one of the cutest little old ladies you’ll ever meet and she had stopped on her way out to greet me.

“Oh yeah,” I tried smiling, “Almost twenty weeks now.”  Continue reading “Saying Goodbye to Baby Bump Insecurity”