When I was growing up, there was a lot of pressure on girls to be skinny. The women on the covers of the magazines were very thin, sometimes emaciated.
So, not surprisingly, I knew a lot of girls who struggled with eating disorders. Anorexia was common in my junior high and high school.
When I was 15, I too had anorexic tendencies. I obsessed about calories, analyzed what was on my plate, skipped meals, and perused pro-ana sites (websites that actively encourage anorexia). When I looked in the mirror, I saw a body that was completely different from reality.
Thankfully, my parents were wise enough to put me into counseling to get me some help. It was their care that brought me healing.
Continue reading “When “Healthy” Is Not Healthy”
She told us there was no heartbeat. She said it matter-of-factly, in a quiet apologetic voice. I felt my stomach instantly drop, emotion immediately clogging my throat. I wanted to tell her to check again—oh, please, please check again. I could see it right there on the screen, right there in front of me. How could the baby be dead?
Continue reading “The Heartbreak Prayer: Miscarriage”
How do you feel?
When I’m feeling low, it’s really hard to answer the “How are you?” question. Most people, when they ask that question, are not looking for an actual answer. When the clerk at the grocery store asks me how I’m doing, she doesn’t exactly have the time to hear me list every single one of my problems. She’s paid to swipe my bag of Bolthouse carrots across the scanner—the “How are you?” is just polite. (Duh.) “How are you?” is simply the cultural acknowledgment of another’s existence. But when I’m depressed, being asked that question stings a little.
Continue reading “How do you feel?”
My husband and I love Amazon Prime. We’d rather push a button and wait for two days for something to arrive at our door than drive fifteen minutes to pick that something up from the store that day.
Once, he decided to get me an Instant Pot for my birthday. (For all of those who don’t know, Instant Pot = amazing.) We joked that we were being too lazy lately, and we decided to actually get up and go to an actual store to buy it. But after going to three stores that were all out of the size we wanted, we ended up typing it in “search” and hitting “buy now.” So much easier! And, voila, we had it in two days just by tapping a few keys on the keyboard. My prediction is that Amazon will one day rule the world and you’ll have me to thank for that.
Sometimes I catch myself imagining prayer to be something like Amazon Prime.
Continue reading “Anxiety and Amazon Prayers”