How do you feel?

How do you feel?

How do you feel?

When I’m feeling low, it’s really hard to answer the “How are you?” question. Most people, when they ask that question, are not looking for an actual answer. When the clerk at the grocery store asks me how I’m doing, she doesn’t exactly have the time to hear me list every single one of my problems. She’s paid to swipe my bag of Bolthouse carrots across the scanner—the “How are you?” is just polite. (Duh.) “How are you?” is simply the cultural acknowledgment of another’s existence. But when I’m depressed, being asked that question stings a little.

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Anxiety and Amazon Prayers

Anxiety and Amazon Prayers

My husband and I love Amazon Prime. We’d rather push a button and wait for two days for something to arrive at our door than drive fifteen minutes to pick that something up from the store that day.

Once, he decided to get me an Instant Pot for my birthday. (For all of those who don’t know, Instant Pot = amazing.) We joked that we were being too lazy lately, and we decided to actually get up and go to an actual store to buy it. But after going to three stores that were all out of the size we wanted, we ended up typing it in “search” and hitting “buy now.” So much easier! And, voila, we had it in two days just by tapping a few keys on the keyboard. My prediction is that Amazon will one day rule the world and you’ll have me to thank for that.

Sometimes I catch myself imagining prayer to be something like Amazon Prime.

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Waiting

Living with bipolar disorder can feel like walking on a balance beam. (And, bipolar or not, I’ve never been a very good gymnast.)

Today, I feel like I’m starting to wobble to one side.

Depression can be chemical. Depression can be situational. Depression can be both. But for me? Today? I think it has to do with the situation more than anything. Continue reading “Waiting”