Why I won’t be posting a “before and after” photo

Why I won’t be posting a “before and after” photo

I spend a considerable amount of time on Instagram and Pinterest. Like…hours. I purposely don’t look at my iPhone screen time facts because I really don’t want to know how much of my life is spent with my phone. But at this point in my life, I’m okay with it. It makes sense. I have a lot of down time with a baby on my lap or on my boob, so it makes sense that my brain wants something else to occupy itself with. So, the mommy bloggers and food bloggers? They’re keeping me company.

When you follow bloggers and, as they’ve come to be called—“influencers”—you’ll inevitably come across stuff about fitness and “healthy” living. (I put “healthy” in quotes because that word means something different to everyone). And that’s fine. I like getting inspiration for my workouts. I love drooling over pictures of avocados and sweet potatoes and smoothie bowls.

Unfortunately, with the “healthy” living inspiration, diet culture creeps its sneaky way in, and that’s a trap for me. In particular? The before and after photo. Continue reading “Why I won’t be posting a “before and after” photo”

Dear Postpartum Body

Dear Postpartum Body

Dear Postpartum Body,

First of all, you’re amazing. You grew a human being inside of you—let’s get that on the record.

I’m sorry that I don’t always love you well. You deserve better.

I am not going to compare you to other bodies. You are my body, unique all on your own.

I am not going to hide you.

Stretch marks prove that you are mighty in battle.

I refuse to say that I need to “get back in shape.” You have a perfect shape already.

I wasn’t kind to my old body, but I’m going to do better with you.

I am not going to cut you, harm you, hate you. I did that to my old body, and I’m not doing it to you.

My husband sees how I treat you. My son will hear how I talk about you.

I will exercise because it makes you feel well, not because I want to look a certain way.

I will feed you wholesome things because it sustains you, not because I want to shrink you.

I won’t wait to buy you clothes until I look like I did before. I will let you look pretty right now. I’ll buy the bigger size because you deserve to look beautiful just as you are.

I will never take a “before and after” photo—you’re worth more than that.

I don’t wish you away. I invite you to stay.

I celebrate you.

I honor you.

You let me nourish my child.

You let me love my husband.

You let me see the world.

You hold a beautiful soul inside of you, dear body. You are a vessel of something sacred.

Love,

Anna

Saying Goodbye to Baby Bump Insecurity

Saying Goodbye to Baby Bump Insecurity

“Anna, you have a belly!” My neighbor said jubilantly, pointing at my midsection. I’d just gotten out of my car and was going up the stairs to my door. My neighbor, Pat, is one of the cutest little old ladies you’ll ever meet and she had stopped on her way out to greet me.

“Oh yeah,” I tried smiling, “Almost twenty weeks now.”  Continue reading “Saying Goodbye to Baby Bump Insecurity”

Do not covet?

Do not covet?

It’s just a number. It’s just a number.

That’s what I was telling myself yesterday when I was pulling on a pair of jeans in the dressing room. Size doesn’t matter. Who cares if you’re now a bigger size? It’s just a number.

I have to give myself pep-talks whenever I go shopping. When I pull on a pair of pants in my ideal size, I hold my breath, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I’ll fit. When the pants don’t fit, I pull them off and reach for the bigger size, all the while commanding myself not to cry. Continue reading “Do not covet?”